she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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