he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
