Just fell off a train. Bad.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
