3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
