White coat. Heels.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
