And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
