im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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