we're blogging at a bar
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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