I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
