Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
