is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
