Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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