She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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