Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
