ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
