I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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