i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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