Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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