He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
