So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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