You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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