ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
