my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
