Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
