I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
