Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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