Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
