sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
