Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
