Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Quick, to the slutcave!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
