he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
