My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
