Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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