idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
