I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
