so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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