This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
im six kinds of drunk right now
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
