Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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