this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
