he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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