I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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