I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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