Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Everclear isn't food dammit
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
