when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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