According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
