Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
