It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
two words...techno handjob
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
