mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
