i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
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