So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
