Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
